little body was in the middle of the road, still warm, when I found him.I brought him in the house, desperate to find
a heartbeat or see his chest rise and fall with breath – but he was gone.
are cruel moments of disbelief when someone that was always so full of life
suddenly isn’t anymore and both your mind and your heart can’t make sense of
Gillie and Crookshanks see him.
my heart to see Crookshanks say his goodbyes, gentling nuzzling Diesel’s neck
and licking his fur, circling him over and over, slower and slower as he began
to understand.When we first found
Crookshanks, orphaned and cold and so so young, it was Diesel that became his
surrogate mother.They have slept
together, cuddled up on an old blanket in the laundry room, almost every nap
Despite it all, Crookshanks has been searching frantically for his friend all morning. Anyone who says that animals
don’t feel grief is a fool.
like all of our cats, was an accidental rescue.Three years ago, I spotted him getting kicked by some teenage boys and
yelled at them, scaring them off.Diesel, terrified, flew off down the street and tried to hide in the van
of an elderly couple leaving their church.
in fact, try to get himself rescued by everyone but me.After being rejected by several thousand
people, he finally noticed me and gave me a piteous mew.Bundled into my jacket, we headed for home
was under strict orders to not bring anymore strays home, I fed him, put him in
a cat kennel, left him next to Evening’s daddy and set off to see if anyone was
time I returned, unsuccessful, he was in Evening’s daddy’s arms.“He purred the whole time,” he told me in
amazement.“I think we should call him
Diesel, because he sounds like a motor.”
he was family.
testing out the high chair when we first brought it home
animals have personalities; Dies was a friend.He was funny, he’d let you dress him up, spin him around, whatever you
wearing a tea towel
wearing a moustache
children.When friends with children
came over – he was in heaven, following them around, just hoping to be mauled
by small hands.He was often seen
playing with our neighbour’s little girl.Kids could do anything to him. When we had our own little girl, he was in his element.
playing with Evening
strict rules about cats on the bed with us when Evening was still very new, but
just the same I would wake up and see he’d sneaked in and found a warm spot with her legs
wrapped around him and his head resting peacefully on her diaper.He was cuddly.
than once I have witnessed Evening grab him by his "manly bits" and pull him
across the floor – and he would never give her more than a warning swat for
it.He was tolerant.
would always give him a big, full bodied hug whenever she saw him after an
absence.So did Evening's little friends. Whenever he came back inside
after a good romp outside, he would always insist on a cuddle from me too.He was loved.
had poor traffic sense.If I could have
kept him indoors full time, I would have, but I do believe that it is an
incredible cruelty in taking a once wild animal and keeping them locked up.Crookshanks was young enough when he joined
our family that he is a very content indoor cat, but Diesel – Diesel needed to
And I'm so sad. I'm so sad he's gone. It hurt so bad this morning passed without him and Crookie playing tag in the living room while Evening looked on and squealed with delight. I can't believe he'll never give me one of his adoring looks again. I'm so sad that Evening has lost such a dear playmate. I'm so sad Crookie lost his best friend. I'm so sad he didn't get to grow old and die in his sleep 14 years from now, warm in his bed. I'm sad for Evening's daddy, because Diesel was the first cat to ever win him over. I'm so sad we'll never giggle at the way his toes would curl up when he wanted you to pet him - "that's where he keeps his hope." I'm sad for me, because he was a warm, constant, reassuring presence that could always make me laugh and it seems too cruel that he's gone.